A Peek into Hell - These Hellish Happenings by Jennifer Rainey

I had scheduled an interview with author Jennifer Rainey but she had to cancel at the last minute. The bearded lady needed more shaving cream so off she went to assist. In her stead we have Jack Bentley from the book These Hellish Happenings. Good thing a copy fell from Jennifer’s purse as she ran out the door!

With much ado I give you Jack.

So Jack, it seems like you have lived a charmed life for a while. When did it all go wrong?

There’s not really one moment where it all went wrong. I mean, there are at least fifty. Thousand. Fifty-thousand is probably a little closer. Making a deal with the Devil tends to mess up one’s existence. Any charmed aspects of my life come in waves, I’ve found. I’ve had my fair share of time on the top of the world, but I’ve also spent a lot of time in the mire, to put it politely.

Being a Vampire sounds cool. What are some of the pros and cons?

It’s rubbish! I can’t actually think of any pros. Living forever is not all it’s cracked up to be, the blood-sucking process is time-consuming and after a few centuries, you get bored with it.  Not only that, living without a pulse makes certain sexual acts incredibly difficult. It’s really not that great. I don’t have any special powers, either. I’m just a guy… who happens to need human blood to live.

Do you ever regret your pact with the devil?

I used to. That was before I actually settled down in Hell. It’s really not that bad, and I can’t believe I’m saying that. Think about your worst day on Earth. Multiply it by no more than three and a half. That’s living on The Administrative Level of Hell. It could certainly be worse. I could be on one of the lower levels cleaning up after Cerberus.

I’ve read about your plight in hell. Sounds a lot like my last job but more colorful. Tell us about your day.

I wake up, go to The Registration Office here in Hell, register the incoming dead and send them to wherever in Hell they’re going to spend eternity. Think St. Peter but with fangs (and, I imagine, better looking).  And I work nine to five, Monday through Friday. The weekend is when I tend to get in trouble, usually with Alex. He tends to gravitate towards trouble.

So Alexander huh? I see you blushing, do tell!

He’s a demon who stalked me for fifty years. Perfect way to start a relationship, wouldn’t you say? Alex, despite the fact that he has terrible taste in music (The Doors? Really?), makes Hell very unhellish for me. And don’t tell him I said that. He’s got an ego through the bloody roof already. I’d never hear the end of it.

Well thanks for stopping in today if you see Jennifer tell her she should be very proud.

No, thank you for getting me out of twenty minutes of my shift!

LINKS:

These Hellish Happenings on Amazon (Kindle): http://www.amazon.com/These-Hellish-Happenings-ebook/dp/B004K1F8KM/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1295619680&sr=8-2

These Hellish Happenings on B&N (Nook): http://search.barnesandnoble.com/These-Hellish-Happenings/Jennifer-Rainey/e/2940012372154?r=1&itm=1&usri=these+hellish+happenings&if=N&cm_mmc=VigLink-_-k244266-_-j12871747k244266-_-Primary

Website: http://www.jenniferrainey.com

Twitter: http://twitter.com/THH_series

Blog: http://independentparanormal.blogspot.com

Are you a bird or a pig? How life mimics Angry Birds

 Are you a bird or a pig? How life mimics Angry Birds

I’ve been giving much thought to the meaning of life.

What is the purpose of life? 

Are we supposed to be happy?

 Is anyone reading this?

And as I fling a bird against a wall, for the umpteenth time a row, it came to me.

 Life is like Angry Birds.

If someone stole your eggs what would you do?

Buy some more?

Be thankful for the time you had with your eggs?

Or hunt them down?

It is kinda scary how easily people are giving up their rights. Because, they don’t wanna make a scene. Because, they don’t have the energy or gumption to fight for what is theirs. Because, they have been raised as sheep.

 No matter what the reason; it is refreshing to see that some birds still care. That some birds will go the extra mile, to stand up for what is right even if it means sacrificing themselves.

Let’s take the red bird. Yes, fairly worthless in some people’s eyes; but red bird never gives up. It will fly into a stone wall over and over and over and over until it cracks. Perseverance.

Yellow bird is just plain ticked off. It takes aim and shifts into overdrive holding nothing back. Balls. Do you got ‘em?

White Bird, not the smartest, but shows up for the fight every time. Loyalty.

Black Bird, gets the job done. It will bowl through anything in its path and blow the crap out of it. Determination.

Blue Bird, size doesn’t matter. It’s all in the strategy. These little guys know there is strength in numbers. Power.

And the pigs. Yes, those low down pigs who take what they want, when they want it. Doesn’t matter that they didn’t earn it. Do they deserve your eggs?

Heck no! So speak up, make a scene, and don’t take life for granted.

Me? I’m gonna go make a Ham & Cheese Omelet.

Note: No animals were harmed in the writing of this blog. Pictures are from Wikipedia. Angry Birds are property of Rovio

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