Pantyno's

As a Western Romance author, I spend a lot of time in Cowboy World. I was invited by a friend to join them in their yearly Cowboy Limo ride for the Holidays.

 I was so excited!

 I had seen previous pictures of everyone dressed up in finery for a night on the town. I asked about the dress code and was told it would be less dressy than last year, more semi-formal.

 Great! I love wearing skirts, and since it is winter it would give me a chance to wear the tights I had bought years ago. I hate pantyhose and have maybe worn them once in the last twenty years. However, this was a special occasion. Plus, it is fun to dress up once in a while. 

 So I sandblast my feet so I won’t rip a hole in them with my heels and carefully rip open the new package.
 
There must be some mistake. 

These pantyhose are four inches wide. I look at the package and double check the size. Size is correct. And I notice the “Tummy Control” lettering highlighted as well.

 I guess they will stretch, a lot. I proceed to get into my Yoga pose and carefully insert my foot. The first one is fine. The second foot was more trying, and I wondered if Harry Houdini could pull off this trick. I start the slow painful process and watch my legs disappear.

 I grasp the waist for the final hoist and rippppppppp, my thumb goes through the control top waste. But they are on, and even with the added hernia, they aren’t moving. The package lies, these are not tummy control, it is more of a butt corset. 

Nonetheless, I am thrilled by my accomplishment. I finish dressing and head off to meet the limo.

 I arrive full of good cheer! 

 Then I notice...everyone else is wearing jeans. 

 May everyone have a Happy and Joyful New Year! And hugs for Cindy and Beverly for taking me a long on their magical journey!