Sunday, February 9, 2014

Waiting: A Letter to my Aunt Susie Lynn Hubbard



Dear Aunt Susie,

One of my earliest memories of you, you weren’t there at all. You were 18 years old, very sick and in the hospital. I was too young to go in your room, so every time my family visited, I and my sister received a new comic book to read while we waited.

The waiting rooms were stark white, not colorful as they are today. I was about 6 and my sister, Lisa, was eight. Things were different back then, safer I guess. So we were left in the waiting room, alone with our Archie comic books, to read and pass the time. We would get a new one from the gift shop each time we visited. My sister and I would trade off, and read each other’s when we finished our own. I still recall the full page ad on the back, Sea Monkeys. I always wanted to clip out that coupon and send it in.

After loads of tests, you were diagnosed with a rare kidney disease. They gave you lots of medicine to treat it and you got better. You were back to yourself in no time.

You were always our favorite babysitter; you and my Aunt Patty would let us do anything we wanted. I can vividly recall sliding down the stairs in our snowmobile outfits. I hated winter and was quite happy when we moved from Michigan to Tennessee.

You moved as well with our grandparents, so we still saw you often. I remember our parents taking us to visit you at the restaurant you worked at-Jerry’s. You would buy us drinks from the fountain with your tip money. I always wanted to grow up to be like you. To work and make my own money to do whatever I wanted to do.

Then you got married, to some guy I didn’t know. It didn’t last though, and you were soon back home, with a baby on the way. You didn’t seem to miss him much. Why should you when you had us?

I had a ball while shopping for tiny baby clothes. Being the youngest, I wasn’t around babies much. I recall driving hours, it seemed like, to Nashville for your doctor appointments. The baby was a strain on your kidneys, so you had to be monitored often.

I was ten when he was born by Cesarean section at Vanderbilt. He was a big boy! I was still too young to visit legally, but I was more cunning then. My sister and I kept watch until the hallway was empty, and made our way to your room.

You were doing great, but your roommate was very sad. Her twins came too early, they were in intensive care. We normally weren’t allowed, but she okayed us to go back and visit them. I have never seen anything so tiny. I remember one weighed 12 ounces, the size of a can of pop. The other was about two pounds. I always wondered if they had survived. I hope they did.

Well Jeremy Nevle, named after his grandfather, was a strong, healthy boy. He had curly blonde hair and blue eyes. He was about three years old when we moved to New Jersey.

You moved too. Back to Michigan, with my grandparents and Jeremy. Not sure why you moved back. After living in Tennessee, I hated snow. And New Jersey had its share.

You came to visit us once, all of you flew over. We visited New York City and the Delaware River. My Grandmother loved flowers and had a green thumb that apparently skipped me. At one of the Botanical Gardens they had beautiful flowers, and signs clearly marked to not pick them.
Well, my Grandmother didn’t pick them. She dug them up by the roots to take home. You don’t mess with women who lived during the Great Depression. Of course she said they were always so poor in Kentucky, they didn’t know about any recession. Poor was a way of life.
We visited the Jersey Boardwalk. Atlantic City is like a life size monopoly board! And they had the craziest shops! I was a teenager then, and I remember wanting a pack of naughty playing cards.

Being my favorite Aunt, you bought them for me and snuck them out of the store. My parents were VERY upset at both of us when they found them in my room. Sorry Aunt Susie.

Eventually we ended up in Michigan too. One of the best nights of my life is when you took me, my sister Lisa, my cousin Renee, and Jeremy to a haunted house. Lisa lost her shoe, Renee peed on herself, and Jeremy was scarred for life. But it was a night I will always remember.
One good thing about Michigan was Halloween, your favorite holiday. Michigan is flat as a board, and the houses are about an inch apart, so you can hit fifty or sixty in a single night! You always took us trick or treating and would even dress up as well. We would get pillow cases full of treats, go home to unload, and out for more. Halloween is just not the same anymore.
Sometimes life moves too quickly, before I knew it, Jeremy was a teenager. And I had married and ended up with two boys of my own.
You moved to Georgia, where we now lived and even watched my boys from time to time. I was blessed by a divorce and as adults, we somehow grew even closer.

You had been fighting your kidney disease for twenty years now and it was taking its toll. You were unable to work. Having had hundreds of kidney stones over the years, you were in much pain and very frail. But, still in good spirits.
Jeremy grew up, got married and had a child. All of the goals you had set for your life were being checked off. Then your kidneys started to fail. You needed to start dialysis.

I went to the hospital with you to have your fistula surgery, to make dialysis easier. I stayed with you during set up and you told me: you were glad I was there, that you were scared to die alone. I assured you, that you would be just fine and left to sit in the finely decorated waiting room. I was alone this time, not even an Archie to read. It grew dark outside, American Idol came on, and finally a doctor arrived, it was tougher than they expected. Your veins were so weak. But the surgery was done. You started dialysis, choosing the first morning session before dawn, so it wouldn’t ruin your day. You woke up and drove yourself several times a week.

They suggested a kidney transplant but they wanted to remove your bad kidneys first. You see with Renal Tubular Acidosis your kidneys made stones, so they had to remove them. Once you healed, they would put a good kidney back in, if any became available. Your siblings went down to get tested for matches, but you refused. You just couldn’t part with a piece of yourself. Or perhaps, you were just tired of fighting. You had been through so much. On some dark days; you even spoke of ending it all. But I was there for you. And if I could have taken away your pain, I would have.
Spring was here and one day in my mother’s kitchen you told me what had happened at your last dialysis session. An air bubble had gotten into the tube and you’re your limbs contracted horribly, you were in so much pain. It passed with time but you vowed to me that you would not live like that. That you would never go through that again. And I believed you. You had already made your wishes clear and had filled out the forms stating them. You didn’t want to be kept alive on machines.

And the next day while I was at work, you were rushed to the hospital. You couldn’t breathe. A blood clot broke loose and entered your lung. You were too ill to do surgery. And the family came, but I was the first. And then my mom.

They were doing tests so we couldn’t see you. Again, I was waiting at the hospital. Older now, and wiser to things I wish I never knew.
We heard your voice in the hallway. Your unmistakable high pitched sound, you were talking to someone. My mother and I looked at each other and we went up and down the hallways looking for you. There was nobody there.

When you were wheeled down the hall minutes later, you were not conscious and an oxygen mask was helping you breath. My sister arrived as did Jeremy and his family. We took turns visiting with you.

As a lifetime asthmatic, I know about breathing, your oxygen level kept dropping lower and lower. Jeremy couldn’t take it and left the building. His only parent was leaving him.

Against your wishes you were put on a breathing machine to help sustain your life. It helped for a little while as we stood around your bed watching your body lift up off the mattress with the force of each breathe.

This is not what you wanted. And as much as I selfishly wanted you to live. I knew that you did not want to live like this. Jeremy came back and regretfully signed the paperwork. He went to be with his family as his heart broke.

And for once, I was not in the waiting room. I stood next to your side across from my mother and sister and I held your hand as the breathing machine was removed. You took several labored breaths, and we told you it was okay. You seemed to calm and a smile graced your lips. Then you passed from this earth.

At the age of 47, you were gone and I was glad that I was able to be with you. That you were not alone.

My heart ached so badly, I cried for a month. I had been blessed, and had never lost anyone close before. Jeremy, took it the worst. To this day he still blames himself. Maybe this letter will help him understand. It was not his choice, but your own.

And I know that you are not truly gone. I know that you visit from time to time. I have seen you in my dreams and while I was awake.
So I do what we all must do, I go on. But I try to spend more time doing what I enjoy and less time worrying.

Life is just too short.

With Love Always,
Lynn

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This is one of the letters from the book, Lost Love Letters: An Indie Chicks Anthology available now from Amazon

Friday, January 3, 2014

Pantyno's

As a Western Romance author, I spend a lot of time in Cowboy World. I was invited by a friend to join them in their yearly Cowboy Limo ride for the Holidays.

 I was so excited!

 I had seen previous pictures of everyone dressed up in finery for a night on the town. I asked about the dress code and was told it would be less dressy than last year, more semi-formal.

 Great! I love wearing skirts, and since it is winter it would give me a chance to wear the tights I had bought years ago. I hate pantyhose and have maybe worn them once in the last twenty years. However, this was a special occasion. Plus, it is fun to dress up once in a while. 

 So I sandblast my feet so I won’t rip a hole in them with my heels and carefully rip open the new package.
  olympic park
There must be some mistake. 

These pantyhose are four inches wide. I look at the package and double check the size. Size is correct. And I notice the “Tummy Control” lettering highlighted as well.

 I guess they will stretch, a lot. I proceed to get into my Yoga pose and carefully insert my foot. The first one is fine. The second foot was more trying, and I wondered if Harry Houdini could pull off this trick. I start the slow painful process and watch my legs disappear.

 I grasp the waist for the final hoist and rippppppppp, my thumb goes through the control top waste. But they are on, and even with the added hernia, they aren’t moving. The package lies, these are not tummy control, it is more of a butt corset. 

Nonetheless, I am thrilled by my accomplishment. I finish dressing and head off to meet the limo.

 I arrive full of good cheer! 

 Then I notice...everyone else is wearing jeans. 

 May everyone have a Happy and Joyful New Year! And hugs for Cindy and Beverly for taking me a long on their magical journey!


Friday, December 27, 2013

.99 KINDLE SALE! : .99 KINDLE AUTHOR SALE--FOUR DAYS ONLY!

.99 KINDLE SALE! : .99 KINDLE AUTHOR SALE--FOUR DAYS ONLY!: WELCOME TO THE .99 HOLIDAY AUTHOR SALE! Between December 26 and December 29 ONLY, you can get ALL of the books below for a mere .9...

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Santa: Do You Believe?


I grew up believing in Santa Claus. And I still do. I tried to share this with my children. My oldest welcomed Santa with open arms, and had a LONG list of requests every year. When his brother was born he dutifully informed Santa of Michael’s wishes as well as his own.
Michael was not appreciative of Santa’s generosity and getting a picture with the Head Elf became harder and harder. Lots of tears and kicking. About the age of five I finally gave up on the perfect Christmas Card picture.
In fact, getting both of my children in a picture together while smiling was becoming a great challenge. So much for the wonderful dreams I once had. My world shifted from happy pictures of toothless babies to grumpy teens. Time certainly does change, but Santa is still the same.
And that awkward moment when I was questioned if he was real or not?
Well, Santa only brings presents to those who believe.
So Santa still visits my house every year.
I was even fortunate to recently meet the real Santa. (I have been advised, I am on the nice list.)
Imagine my surprise when I found out he rides a motorcycle and does volunteer work with the Patriot Guard Riders (PGR) for our Veterans. I was fortunate to be able to work with him on a charity project. And we would like to share it with you.
Because the most important thing about the Holidays isn’t found under a tree.
It is in our hearts.
Patriot Guard Riders Tribute



Sunday, November 17, 2013

I'm Smell Blind



Several weeks ago, I realized I couldn’t smell. It wasn’t something I really noticed until I visited a fudge shop in Helen Ga. Helen is a quaint German town nestled in the GA mountains, where else would you go for Oktoberfest?
I was very excited to visit with my family and as always, our first stop: the fudge shop. The small shop was lined with people and we squished our way in. My sons wife, Tamara, grabbed my arm and says “Oh my God! It smells so good in here!”
I sniffed.
“I don’t smell anything.”
She looks at me like I’m crazy. “You can’t smell the cocoa?”
“I can’t smell anything.”
And for the first time, I bought no fudge. Not even a sample, I didn’t have the craving for it.
Since then, I began to ponder when I had stopped smelling. Everything smells like normal. All the time.
How long has this been going on? All the times I had sniffed my laundry, or previously worn clothing and came away satisfied. Now I wonder. Did they stink? Do I stink?
Showering has become an obsession for me, as well as doing laundry.
Cooking is a challenge. I have to constantly watch the stove because I can’t smell when the food is close to being done or burning.  
Walking the dog has been a pleasure. Picking up poop is no problem without the odor.
The hardest part I guess is my family, they are constantly “testing” me.
From holding fresh bags of coffee under my nose, to steaming cups of herbal tea. No. I don’t smell it.
No fresh baked cookies, or bacon, or the gift on the floor the dog left.
My helpful friends: “You know that’s a sign of Alzheimers.” If I didn’t have sinus problems, I would be more worried. Even after sinus surgery several years ago, I am still snotty.
One side effect is I have no cravings for food. I don’t smell the awesomeness of food, so I am eating less and only when I am hungry. Best diet ever.
The downfall, walking through the mall looking for Christmas gifts. Choosing scented candles by color or description. My son likes cologne and I can’t smell them. I can still picture the blank stare I have received from the sales clerk armed with a spray bottle when I informed her I was smell blind.
The term smell blind is not my own, it is a quote from the movie “Walk Hard.” My son declared me smell blind when I relayed my odd symptoms to him. In a crazy sort of way, it fits.
Is this permanent? Too soon to tell, but apparently, many people have this problem. Some have never been able to smell.

Maybe we should start a club. 

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Banned in the USA

Another crisis in bookworld. 


Apparently some UK book stores do not have the ability to separate genre's in their search engines. 

After some UK parents looked up books for "Daddy" they were shocked by the "suggested" titles. 


So to correct this, UK distributors have pulled most indie or small press books from their sites, and some even shut down completely. 


Even in the US, +Kobo Inc.  , has followed suit, trying to save us from ourselves!

But fear not! 

You can still find plenty of smut and atrocities in Traditional Books that were left untouched. 


Note:The only  +Lynn Hubbard  book that was effected at kobo in the US is Chase The Moon. I'm sure +Julian Fantechi  will be happy to know he was banned for being too sexy! I'm sure the morality gods will get it all figured out. In the mean time, Chase is available at +Amazon.com   +Barnes & Noble  +ARe Cafe | All Romance eBooks 



For more info visit +David Gaughran's Bloghttp://davidgaughran.wordpress.com/2013/10/15/kobo-cull-self-published-titles-in-knee-jerk-response-to-tabloid-clickbait/






Chase the Moon: A Historical Romance 

Back Cover: Amelia is enraptured by Chase's charm and his touch. Will she fit into his world? Or, will Chase give up everything to fit into hers? Set in Mississippi 1886 Meet Chase Stafford. Chase inherited his mother's Comanche blood and his father's sense of humor. After receiving a wedding invitation from his brother Brock, he heads off on a train to Mississippi.

Along the way, he runs into Amelia. Half asleep, he mistakes her flowing alabaster hair for that of a banshee. After starting off on the wrong foot can Chase's charm persuade her to give him another chance? Amelia's initial encounter with Chase was unsettling to say the least. The glamorous city girl was taken aback by Chase's forwardness. Nevertheless, she is bound and determined to awaken the sensations that only he can unleash.




Excerpt:

Amelia stood at the end of the platform waiting impatiently for her luggage to be unloaded. A cool breeze swept by and she inhaled the fresh air. It felt marvelous to be free from the stifling compartment. Spotting one of her bags, she grabbed it, slung it over her shoulder with the strap, and waited for her suitcases. Amelia frowned as she saw them tossed haphazardly and land hard on the ground. Annoyed she marched up grabbing them by the handle. Her arms burned as she awkwardly lifted the heavy bags. Gritting her teeth, she waddled away with her load.
Her father had loaded the bags earlier so she was not aware of the sheer weight of them. In hindsight she wondered if she really needed all of the things she had packed. She heard a soft click and suddenly felt her burden lighten. Looking down she saw a pile of her things strewn out on the dirt as one of the locks had given way.
With muttered curses she flung down her load and started to collect her belongings. Seeing her plight, a passerby hurried over to assist her. He grabbed a handful of lace and she looked up at him appalled. Recognizing his features as the man who accosted her on the train she hissed.
“Would you please give me my bloomers? I do not need your help.”
Chase looked down at the limp ruffles in his hand and was glad that his hat and dark skin hid most of his reddening face. He tossed it into the suitcase and stammered out his apologies.
“Sorry ma’am. About what happened on the train; I wasn’t quite awake.”
She looked up at him from her knelling position and he looked down upon her beautiful porcelain face framed with luminous hair and set off by her deep blue eyes. How the hell did he ever mistake her for a banshee?
“Let’s start over.” He held out his hand to her. “Chase Stafford.”
Instead of grasping his hand, she frowned at him as she climbed to her feet dusting the street off her skirt. Still eyeing him warily, she grudgingly held out her own hand as the qualities her father tried to instill upon his children took hold. She felt her own face flushing as his large warm hand engulfed hers and she pulled away a bit reluctantly.
“I’m Amelia, Amelia Lovett.”
“Lovett? Are you any relation to Sabrina?”
“Yes, she’s my cousin. I’m headed to her wedding.”
Chase laughed out loud. A rumble that made Amelia’s body tingle. “So am I, She’s marrying my brother, Brock.”
“May God help her.” Amelia murmured to herself as she again knelt to finish stuffing her once neat belongings back into her bag. Why was fate so cruel to her? Well she guessed it was Sabrina’s problem that she marrying into an insane family. To tell the truth, the others all seemed very kind. Just Chase had issues. Maybe too much sun she thought noticing his darker skin.
She allowed him to help repack her suitcase and he grumbled when he had to hold it down while she redid the clasp.
“Do you really need all of this stuff?”
“Yes.”
“How the heck did you get this locked before?”
“I sat on it.”
Chase snorted as he carefully removed the pressure; he was relieved when it remained shut. However, he continued to eye it warily as if it would spring open at any moment.
The train whistled again and he cursed as he hurried over to retrieve his families’ baggage before it left the station. He was relieved to see they had already been unloaded and stacked on the platform. There was only a small trunk and a saddle bag with his belongings. Grabbing them both, he made his way back over to Amelia who was watching him.
She blushed as he looked down to meet her eyes. He perfectly balanced the trunk on his shoulder and held it securely with one hand as he walked over to her and lifted her largest bag with his free hand. Wow he’s strong she thought.

EBOOK








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Thursday, October 10, 2013

War of Hearts-New Historical Romance, From Lynn Hubbard


New Historical Romance, From Lynn Hubbard

Together they will discover a passion for each other,
for life, and for freedom.

 
Following along after Washington’s Army, was not what Sarah Fanum had planned. Nonetheless, sometimes fate is cruel. Deciding to control her own future, she accepted a role as a spy. Gathering more courage than she knew she had, she headed to New York City.

Tristan Radcliff was a pampered playboy. He was used to having his own way, and lived for the next adventure on the high seas. He was caught off guard by Sarah’s unpretentious ways, and taken by her beauty. Could he defy not only his family, but also his country to taste her charms? 

 
Will they realize that love is always worth fighting for?


Excerpt:

She could hear the city before she saw it. It was not the grandeur of Philadelphia, that she had expected. It seemed… somewhat darker. Perhaps her feelings were betraying her perception. Thoughts of retreat fluttered through her mind as she spotted the roadblock. With no other choice, she squared her shoulders as she moved forward.

“State your business,” the young soldier demanded, he sounded more bored than anything.

“I have come to stay with my Aunt.” Sarah replied, remembering that less is more.

He barely glanced at her, and not finding her a threat, moved to let her pass.

“Hold up there!” A more seasoned officer called.  Sarah somehow kept her face calm, even though her heart was pounding again. This man was more keen, and his grey eyes seemed to glimmer in anticipation. She supposed he would have been considered handsome, to most, with his brown hair and strong features. Of course, the British Uniform quelled any passionate thoughts on Sarah’s part.

She tensed as his gaze swept over her body. Her eyes met his, and narrowed, as a sneer crossed over his face. “I think we need to check this one a bit more thoroughly.”

He was close to her, too close, she wondered how far she would get if she kicked him in the face and set the mare into a run. Looking down at her feeble companion, she decided not far enough.
The soldier grabbed her horse’s harness and placed his free hand on her ankle as he ran his hand up her leg, and under her skirt. She instinctively drew away from him, and with a shriek, toppled off the horse on the other side. Cursing, she pushed herself to her feet and turned on her offender.







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·       
Website: www.lynnhubbard.com
·        Face book page: https://www.facebook.com/lynnhubbardbooks
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·        Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/c/lynn-hubbard
·        GoodReads: http://www.goodreads.com/LynnHubbard
·        Shelfari: http://www.shelfari.com/lynnhubbard
Author Bio: 
Lynn Hubbard is a Historical Fiction author. She has been writing for over ten years and has five titles. Three of which are westerns. Lynn is fascinated by the Old West and her books portray when life was simpler. When, people worked hard, and sweated to make an honest living. And when justice wasn’t always blind.
List of Lynn’s publications:
·        The Stafford Collection: exclusively at Amazon
·        A Christmas Crossing: Amazon, Audible
·        Run into the Wind: Amazon, B&N, Audible
·        Chase the Moon: Amazon, B&N
·        Return to Love: Amazon, B&N, Audible
·        Desperado: Amazon, B&N, Audible